Are you ready to take the ultimate rock and roll cruise vacation? Then join Geoff Tate onboard ShipRocked, November 27th – December 1st, as we hit the high seas from Fort Lauderdale to the Caribbean! A ship ton of great bands will be performing live, including Godsmack, Five Finger Death Punch, P.O.D., Sevendust, Filter, Fuel, LIT, Black Stone Cherry, Geoff Tate (Queensryche), Gilby Clarke (Guns N’ Roses), In This Moment, and even more being announced soon!

In addition to the concerts you’ll get to meet and greet all the bands, and participate in a bunch of other fun artist hosted events and activities. The ship will keep the food coming and the beverages flowing throughout the cruise… And with multiple pools, jacuzzis, a luxury spa and a state of the art gym onboard, you can stay refreshed and reenergized to party with us all week long!

Tickets go on-sale Saturday, March 10th at 10am-Eastern. Visit www.GetShipRocked.com or call 1-888-438-9509 for all the details!

UA: This first question is just for BIC… So you married DrHawkeye. Can I pet your Seeing Eye dog? When was your sense of smell removed? Does he have some sort of revealing photos he uses as blackmail? Have you actually met DrHawkeye? I guess what everyone is asking is… what the hell?

BIC: Yes, you can pet my Seeing Eye dogs (pictures included). My sense of smell is pretty good. No, there are no blackmail pictures that I know of. I had dated a few other Rychers but nothing panned out. DHE didn’t make a good first or second impression on me either when we first met, so I don’t know what happened?? Trust me there are several days I shake my head and wonder why??????? Must have been temporary insanity.

DHE: Hey now, temporary insanity is my plea. [UA: For the record I cannot hear anyone say ‘Hey Now’ without thinking about the Gary Shandling Show. This was no exception.]

UA: How long have you been Queensryche fans? Was there a particular song/album that got you hooked?

BIC: Been a fan since Empire. Yes, I’m a youngin’ when it comes to being a fan. The song should be quite obvious. [UA: Can I guess “Resistance?”]

DHE: Saw the video for “Queen of the Reich” back on MTV shortly after it was released and went “Holy sheet, who are these guys?” Been hooked ever since. So I guess that makes me an oldin’.

UA: So no secret that you two are big QR fans, I have seen DHE show up to shows with a huge man sack of stuff he wants autographed. Where do you display all of this swag and what is the jewel in your collection?

DHE: All the SWAG is currently in boxes awaiting some place to put it, but it will be adorning walls, floors, ceilings, etc, soon enough.

BIC: *side comment* Yeah, with the wife’s approval.

DHE: The downside is I really don’t carry that much anymore since it’s mostly been done over the past 10 years. One of my fav items is the Warning back patch that I got signed in Seattle by the artist. And even though it’s not really rare, having the original EP on the 206 label is a nice addition.

BIC: Yes, he makes me get stuff signed that is in that bag of his. My most prized possession is my autographed film can. Signed at the Seattle ’98 gathering, and nearly stolen by Geoff. He stuck it under his blazer a couple times, apparently he didn’t have one, or so he said. Eddie’s wedding pick is pretty cool too. I actually have enough collectables that I was a member of the R.A.R.E Society back in the day.

UA: I’ve been stockpiling toilet paper for about a year now in preparation for a zombie apocalypse. What preparations have you made in the event of the undead returning to feed upon our brains?

DHE: I’ve been muchly enjoying “The Walking Dead”, so I feel that is preparing me for a zombiepocalypse. That, and my killer ninja skills. [UA: Always Double Tap]

BIC: *rolling eyes* Just throwing the husband at them and running for my life with the dogs. There’s enough of him to keep them busy for a while. [UA: I would be willing to hold him down until the Zombies got even closer if that would help]

UA: You first met me in Chicago at some random show I showed up at. Rumor is that BIC has never given anyone the finger faster than I received it. Do I still hold this honor? What was I eating?

BIC: It was actually at the casino in Wisconsin. But I think Steve (Mr City Kittee) gets it faster. Unless the husband really pisses me off. Sorry Adam, you’ve lost the honor. Idk what you were eating at the time, sorry. [UA: Wisconsin, really? I must have been drinking. Was I wearing my shirt?]

DHE: *rolling eyes* [UA: I must have taken off my shirt….]

UA: Since no one in this Fan Club can remember how to write a Haiku, let’s go a different route. Please write a limerick about me and Geoff Tate making homemade pizza. Actually since there are two of you, please feel free to collaborate.

DHE\BIC: Adam and Geoff cookin’ in a kitchen
Some homemade pizza was soon to be bitchin’
It was going quite well
But Adam burnt it to hell
So instead they decided to go fishin’

PS: Lots of bitching and yelling were involved in the creation of this limerick. [UA: You have earned 4 awesome points for your incredibly awesome limerick!]

UA: I’m actually quite proud to mention that you were founding members of the Detroit Ryche City Empire that was very successful in its day. Tell everyone how awesome I am, and what kind of fun the Empire was before you had to move away and leave them? Are you in an Empire now?

DHE: Sheri was one of the founding members of DRC. I didn’t come in until 2004 after I moved to MI, but they were pretty good at winning contests in the early days. Not many contests after I joined, but we did get a 2nd place once as a Street Team. Getting a personal letter and Tri-ryche necklace from Geoff was pretty cool. We also had the empire logo redesigned by the incredible MindClot, which was totally bad-ass. No empire here yet. [UA: We shall have to change that… Roxie, please pester these two until they create a new empire.]

BIC: Yes, I helped establish DRC in ’96, and had fun with all the member changes through the years, the gatherings, fundraising, and band promoting. As a group, we went to Seattle gatherings in ’98 and ’99. And in ’98 got to take a boat ride with Geoff and Susan (who was driving), but she was “Ziggy” back then.
Then we had to disband in 2007. Still a sad day in Empire history. [UA: We should really have more Empire contests. Note to Adam… do this.]
Tried to start an empire here, but it didn’t work out, and probably won’t try again.
And yes Adam, you are totally awesome. [UA: noted]

DHE: *rolling eyes*

UA: Earlier this year you let MindClot, RoyalBlue, and myself kill you some at Unreal Tournament III, then you fled crying and wallowing in self-induced misery at your inability to kill me. We have not seen you since. When can we expect DHE 2.0 to come out and try again? Also did you know that after I killed you I would run over to your corpse and push the Crouch button so that I tea bagged your dead body? Well I did; it’s a form of shaming.

DHE: Yes, my sorely lacking skills allowed y’all to kill me repeatedly. That’s why y’all should be nicer to noobs. However, I did score kills on RB and Adam. I may be back, or I may stay with Duke Nukem and Wolverine where I’m much better. [UA: Did everyone just read this as he prefers to be tea-bagged by Duke Nukem or Wolverine?] [RB: Yes, that’s how I read it. Also, being nice to noobs doesn’t give me the unfair advantage I seek.]

UA: So what’s your current favorite Queensryche Album/Song/Tour/and food borne illness?

DHE: Hmm, favorite album, let me think, that may be a hard choice, but I think I’ll go with The Warning, just a tiny bit above Mindcrime. Fav songs: “Suite Sister Mary” and side 2 of The Warning *since the wife is reading this, I’ll leave out my true favorite*. As for other favorite songs, I’d love to hear them do the Myth version of “Scarborough Fair”. Fav tour: Mindcrime I/II, especially after seeing all 3 nights in Seattle. Food Borne illness is probably the norovirus since it has really cool results and can wipe out entire villages. [UA: Do they still have villages in Michigan?]

BIC: Glad I just got finished eating that piece of pizza *insert barfy look*
Favorite tour was Promised Land because of the theatrics and I wish they would do another like that, especially with Geoff getting his clothes ripped off.
Favorite song(s): obviously “Best I Can”; “One More Time”, “Someone Else”, “Rhythm of Hope”, “Anytime Anywhere”, “Until There Was You”, “Dirty Lil Secret” and “Take Hold of the Flame”.
Album, I’m still an Empire fan, seeing it was my first.
Don’t know about food diseases, I’m still getting over the pizza.

UA: Time to play “If the members of Queensryche were outdated technologies from the 70’s and 80’s, what technology or gadget would they be and why?” You can both answer here, or you can fight over answering…

Geoff: Cell phone, cuz he’s the first of his kind and has improved thru the years.
Scott: Simon. It takes a rhythm dude to win the game.
Ed: Because Ed likes football, I would say he would be the old handheld Mattel Football game.
Michael: Since Whip likes it loud, I think a GhettoBlaster would work, and he could probably hook his guitar up to it and play it on the beach.
Parker: Being he’s the new cool thing, a pet rock. [UA: These come in USB form now from thinkgeek.com]

UA: As I’m a big Pamela Moore Fan (not fat, just big boned), I noticed that you like to stalk her but have not embraced the Facebook as of yet. Did you know that she’s on Facebook? Not only her, but even her Dog is on Facebook? She’s my friend. I just wanted to brag and point out that your lack of Facebook Skillz has limited your ability to keep up to date on the lovely and talented Suite Sister Mary!

DHE: I must not be that much of a stalker since I’m not on Facebook. And yes, I know I’m missing out on all the info, but since she moved back to Seattle, no chance to hang with her around here anymore. And it’s very depressing.

BIC: But I’m on Facebook and talk to her sister Aury all the time. *evil laugh, ha ha*

DHE: And I’m the one that introduced them. *Rolling eyes* [UA: This got creepy fast!]

Aury: I am very concerned about Dr. Hawkeye and his self-diagnosed bout of Depression… I believe the only way he will be able to get out of this funk is for him to pack up BIC and the dogs and move to Seattle… I know this is only 1 opinion though so, I will ask Pamela to give us a second opinion… (Or… he could get a damn FB page… I’m just sayin’!!!!)

Pamela:

UA: I consider you a couple brought together by the music of Queensryche. Do you have any special couple memories that you want to post? Any favorite mushy things that DHE whispers in your ear at night (my money is on something from “Cuckoo’s Nest”)? How romantic is the big teddy bear? You can tell us, we won’t make fun of him.

BIC: Yeah, if it wasn’t for the band, we probably wouldn’t have met, thanks a lot guys. The first thing we did as an official couple was travel to Seattle for the weekend for the shows at The Moore. No, no mushy stuff. He’s more of a caveman who tries to be romantic at times.

DHE: I still wonder if it was a mistake to invite her over to watch a bootleg that I had just gotten in the mail back when we did mail exchanges. That was the first non-Empire thing we did together. Then we started hanging out. You should ask her how I proposed.

UA: I’m picturing something romantic like DHE naked with a ring clinched between his butt cheeks while he makes breakfast…. Loud fart, ring hits the floor, proposal made. Was it this romantic?

BIC: There was nothing romantic about his proposal. Since when do you “propose” while driving down the road while discussing our future, because he received a job offer out of state? I guess that shoulda’ given me my first clue. LOL

DHE: At least neither one of us will forget Spider-man 3, since we were heading to my place after seeing it in IMAX.

BIC: Really??? Nice to know where I stand in importance. [UA: Well it was Spiderman…]

UA: Before you ask, I’m not the father of Snookie’s Spawn. That being said I’m a big Laurel and Hardy fan. What was your favorite hockey movie?

DHE: Youngblood, but only for Cindy Gibb.

BIC: OMG! Ick! I have to agree with him, only because of Patrick Swayze being in the movie.

UA: If you could buy one band member and Uncle Adam lunch, which band member would it be and where would you take us? By the way, you’re paying.

DHE: I’m gonna go back to my roots as a drummer and take Scott Rock so we can talk drums. And since there’s a killer BBQ place just up the road, I’d introduce him to that. Adam, somehow you got left behind somewhere, sorry. [UA: Scott won’t forget me!]

BIC: Geoff, and we’d go to a Japanese Steak House for sushi or whatever. It’s the husband’s money any way. LOL

You will get an tour itinerary with your name in it. This will be the same itinerary the band will be using.

A laminate allowing you meet and greet access at every show you attend

Our travel God will assist you to get rooms at our rate at all the tour hotels so you can stay with the band and travel at the same times making us an Insane travel group!

Subscribe: RSS | iCal

E-mail us at fanclub@queensryche.com with your name and e-mail address!  Winner chosen at random on Monday March 26th.

Good luck!

Kellie:  You’re right Adam, that guys scares me!  [UA: she’s talking about George R. R. Martin not me….

UA:  We’re currently in that awkward time between Valentines Day candy and Easter candy.  What’s your favorite Girl Scout Cookie?

Kellie: My absolute favorite Girl Scout Cookie is Thin Mints!  Even better if they’re stored in the freezer. OMG, delish!  [UA: I agree with this, but will also add that the pseudo-adult-film-star-named Savanna Smiles are also delicious]

UA:   Let’s crank out some rapid fire Queensryche Questions!  What’s your current favorite Queensryche song, album, and Geoff Tate hairstyle?

Kellie:  Geoff Tate hairstyle? Is he sporting a hairstyle these days? To be honest, when he was wearing it at shoulder length back in 2001 (Live Evolution), that was the best length. Not any longer! *finding something to hide under because I know a lot of fans love his hair long.* LOL! Current favorite song? I like them ALL. If I have to choose just one, I’m really digging Roads to Madness from the Art of Live album. I love the song and I really enjoy that version. I would love to hear that in concert one of these days. As far as my favorite album, Rage for Order never disappoints.

UA:  You clearly dig the Queensryche.  What’s your favorite memory (or two) of Silent Lucidity?

Kellie: I think the one memory that stands out the most is when I was driving around Allen, Texas in my florescent green Dodge Neon showing an old friend how to match (or get close to) pitch using Silent Lucidity. I pulled over into a parking lot and we started breaking down the song piece by piece. God, I played Silent Lucidity maybe 20 times lol! Hey, she finally got to where she was hearing the pitch better. I gave her so many props for trying… she was really putting some effort into it! Yes, she became a QR fan after all that!  [UA:  Aren’t fluorescent green and Neon the same thing?]

UA:  Speaking of hairstyles, as a recovering stylist if I were to give you carte blanche to do whatever you wanted with my hair, what type of hairstyle would I end up with?

Kellie:  I’ve been pondering this question for a while and the only hairstyle that I think is fitting would be a rainbow Mohawk! Only because I haven’t had any opportunities to make someone’s hair multicolored and I think you would fit the bill perfectly. Would you like to make an appointment? It would be so much fun!  [UA:  Actually yes, yes I would.]

UA:  How about the band, what types of hairstyles would you put on them and why?  (Please give Eddie Hockey Hair).

• Geoff: I’m guessing from pictures that he’s got fine hair. Shoulder length, minimal layers and point-cut the edges to make them less blunt. (I think I’ve left Adam a major opportunity to throw in something sarcastic here lol)
• Scott: Short. Clipper cut, longer on top. No sideburns.
• Whip: Long hair. Same length as he has it now.
• Ed: What? You want Eddie to have untamed hair, hiding under a cap with wings of hair sticking out? Tell us how you REALLY feel about Eddie!
• Parker: Long. The style that he has now is really suiting him.  I’m so curious what product he uses, though. His hair always has that wet look to it.

UA:  According to the Facebook you really like to work out.   I have been working out now for a few years and have found that I’m an awesome spotter!  What’s your favorite exercise, and what is your favorite outfit to do lunges in?

Kellie:  Turbokick is by far my favorite exercise, P90X being a close second. I try to find the most comfortable clothes to work out in. UA~ Be honest, you like wearing those autographed underwear while working out, don’t you?   [UA:  I’m not big on leg workouts, so when I do lunges I generally go to the lost and found and wear someone else’s clothes.  That way I don’t have to wash them.]

UA:  Which member of Queensryche do you think can bench press the most?  Do you think I can bench more than them?  Be honest.

Kellie:  Honestly, I have no idea!  [UA:  I do, but I’ll save it for the next tour when I challenge them to a bench press competition… followed immediately by a hot dog eating contest, and a break dance off.]

UA:  Did you know that when people are crowd surfing at concerts the generally accepted audience behavior is to help hold them up and move them towards the security guards at the front of the stage?

Kellie:  Yes. I’m fully aware of that. BUT, it would be so helpful to be alerted when a huge 6ft man is approaching you from behind. Then I can hold my hands up (or move out of the way) versus being thrown down. Lesson learned- no more pit!   [UA:  She said ‘huge 6ft man approaching you from behind’ giggle]

UA:   You sent me a note that said “I used to lifeguard for the YMCA while in Beauty School.”  No real question here, but I wanted to write that down for message board member Mindcrime II.  I’m sure his head just exploded.

Kellie:  LOL! OK, so Mindcrime II will need to enlighten us.

UA:  We all love to play “This little piggy” with our kids’ toes.  If Queensryche were little piggies, which little piggy would each member of the band be, and why?

Kellie:  OMG UA..lol! You’re killing me here!

• Geoff: “went to the market” to talk the store owner into selling his Insania!
• Scott: “stayed home” because he was too busy running after his grandson…he took off with his drum sticks.
• Whip: “had none” So off he went to get more Whip Ale.
• Ed: “had roast beef” because the Chinese leftovers that he bought a week ago were unrecognizable by the time he remembered they were in the fridge.  [UA: Note:  Ed taught me the phrase ‘Grocery Snake’; I find this selection quite fitting]
• Parker: went wee weewee all the way home to Alki beach!

UA:   Besides meeting me, what are some of your favorite memories of the Queensryche Seattle shows?

Kellie: Way too many to count. If you know me well enough, then you know I always get lost in Seattle. Every single time. It’s become a joke between Lisa Bloomfield and I.  When I used to have the old car and an old GPS, it would always alert me where to turn right at the last minute… and then I either miss the turn or screech to make it! It was a miracle that we got to the shows on time. LOL… and also, If you’re riding with me then you’d better be good at applying makeup in the car at fast speeds! It was quite comical to watch Danielle “Dani” Francis applying mineral makeup in the dark!!

The Cabaret shows were probably the most memorable shows for me. The peanut butter hamburger that you were eating (eww), dancing on stage, and meeting so many great people! That was one of the best weekends I’ve ever had.  [UA: That was the best hamburger ever… unfortunately I think I was allergic to it after eating the whole thing I didn’t feel very well]

UA:  David Tennant has completely surpassed Tom Baker as my favorite Doctor.  In fact I’m really digging Matt Smith as the doctor as well.  If I were to write and star in Doctor Who, there would be a lot of episodes where I totally make out with Amy Pond.  Can you quickly write a nice Haiku about Doctor Who, Queensryche, and me?  I promise not to laugh.

Kellie:  I don’t watch Doctor Who; Adam has secret fantasies; I’m confused.  [UA: Apparently they don’t teach Haiku in Graduate school anymore…]

UA:   Do you use your smart phone while on the toilet?  What level are you on in Words with Friends?

Kellie:  Ummm, no. LOL…and I have zero time to play Words with Friends. I heard it was a fun game though!  [UA:  I’m betting she’s lying here; go to the Queensryche.com message boards and vote!]

UA:  Right. I should really get back to Queensryche questions…. You’ve met the band a few times.  Tell us some of your favorite moments or conversation snippets with the band.

Kellie:  While at the wine tasting event in Napa recently, Geoff and I were talking about California wineries…and which wineries he goes to while visiting. He was naming one after the other and I was trying to memorize at least a few of them to go to the next day. We ended up hanging out at Denny’s the next morning instead, nursing our hangovers. Go figure. Have you ever tried Denny’s coffee? With enough sugar and creamer it tastes just like Starbucks!

Also, Eddie’s brand new iPhone being stolen from his hotel room.  If I recall he only had it a few hours.

While at a M&G, Whip was sitting on the edge of the stage. Lisa Bloomfield and I were talking to him. Another fan came up to us and asked me if I could take a picture of her and Whip. I said sure, and she hands me this super fancy camera. Whip was laughing at me because I couldn’t figure how to use the camera. What happened to just basic point and shoot?  [UA: when this happens to me I just take a picture of a urinal… not my camera, right?]

UA:  If you could punch one celebrity in the face, who would it be and why?

Kellie:  I don’t think that I have it in me to punch anyone in the face…even if they were super annoying!  [UA:  I guess I’ll have to pick the celebrity for you… I choose Anastacia Bunte!]

UA: If you could buy one band member and Uncle Adam lunch, which band member would it be and where would you take us?

Kellie: You know, I can’t take just one member. Sorry. Breaking the rules! I’d take all 5 of them (families too) and take you all to the best Indian restaurant in town. Namaste!

Mark:  Before the inquisition begins, let it be known that I thought I was a Queensryche super fan until I joined our infamous fanclub.  Little did I know that there are those who are crazier than I am about the band, and have put the number of shows I’ve seen to shame.  That being said, I love seeing the Minnesota Vikings try year after year to build a championship team with the Green Bay Packers’ sloppy seconds… how’s that working out for you, Adam?  As a Minnesota fan, you should be working on mono-syllabic words like “one” -as in how many titles you wish you could claim…  [UA:  This is so hurtful that I refuse to fix his grammar in this paragraph]  [RB:  Not to worry…. I will!]

UA:  You’ve been fortunate enough to see Queensryche in every part of the world imaginable.  Where was the best place (or two) that you’ve seen them, and did you have to learn any obscenities in foreign languages to have a good time?

Mark:  I have been fortunate to see Queensryche in several cities around the world and each one brings a different flavor to the experience.  One thing remains the same though – the passion the fans bring to the shows.  My favorite shows are from the good old USA – when I first saw Kiss close for them at the Long Beach Arena in 1984 (Queensryche opens for no one; other bands sometimes close for them) which solidified the boys as my favorite band, and in 1989 when they played Irvine Meadows after they came back from Japan supporting the Operation:Mindcrime tour.  They sold out the place, even the lawn, (12,000+ I believe) and played for close to three hours.  They were huddling up after each song towards the end of the show to decide what to play next.  It was amazing to be there, realizing that this largely unknown band whom I had been devoted to and preaching about for years had finally hit the big time.  The band was totally in the moment – awesome…

And although I do know some obscenities in foreign languages, my accent renders me useless when speaking in tongues.  My co-workers in France cringe when I try to even just pronounce words on a menu….I think I’m speaking well, but I’m pretty much just insulting everyone – I’ll just call it unintentional obscenities.

UA:  What country has the best Queensryche fans at these concerts (and please no sucking up to MathesK; Tennessee isn’t even a country).

Mark:  I’ve been to Tennessee…try to convince THEM it’s not a country!  I had the most fun in Brussels and London outside the USA for shows.  Both times I was surprised about the soccer-style chants that went on – most of the time in their mother-tongue, which I didn’t understand (even in England, I had no idea what they were saying).  Since I may have had an adult beverage or two during the shows, although I thought I was chanting along with them, I could have been chanting that Uncle Adam has an awesome codpiece.  [UA:  He said “mother-tongue”]

UA:  You named your daughter Tesla.   Was she named after:  The band, the scientist, the coil, the roadster, or out of a pure hatred for Albert Einstein?

Mark:  Here is the true story behind that choice – I really do like Tesla, the band.  Maybe even my second favorite behind Queensryche.  I’m also a drummer and a husband, which pretty much makes me deaf (as any wife will attest – we husbands don’t listen very well).  Since I named my son, my wife got to name our daughter.  She liked the name Tesla (and especially Tess for a nickname), and admired, as I do, the accomplishments of Nikola Tesla.  So she approaches me one day and says “What about Tesla for a name?” to which I said “What?”, because I was obviously not hearing her correctly.  She repeats her question, and I give the same strained, quizzical reply.  She says, “TESLA”.  I said, “Like the band?” and she says, “No, like the inventor….. Tesla” (my wife, although liking most of my music, definitely wasn’t on the “band” train of thought).  I said, “Uh….yeah!!!”   I may have never inadvertently loved my wife more than in that moment!!  She chose as Tesla’s middle name that of the artist she admires most, Monet.  So Tesla Monet was born…..no pressure to succeed there Tess.   [UA:  What a nice touching story of inadvertent love]

UA:  I understand there is a rockin’ lip sync contest that featured you as Geoff Tate (lip) singing Take Hold of the Flame.  Tell us about this, and where we can find a link to the video.

Mark:  Oh yes…. this was in high school, mind you, in 1985, so no YouTube….unfortunately.  My peeps and I were into “The Warning” album pretty hardcore by that time, but nobody else knew who the heck Queensryche was.  We formed “Ryche 5” for the contest, complete with a drum kit, tennis racquets for guitars, car ramps for the stage, and me as Geoff Tate with flash paper and a lighter taped to the palm of my hand for our best rendition of “Take Hold of the Flame”.  We had to audition with the Vice Principal before the show and I lit the carpet on fire with the flash paper.  She reluctantly agreed to let us perform if nothing like that happened again.  We had a great time performing, although only five or six people were rocking out while everybody else, we hoped, would be amazed by the constant pyrotechnics spouting from my hands.  The highlight of the performance had to be when I accidentally lit the lead racquet-guitarist’s crotch on fire with the flash paper during his solo.  Ah….the good old days.  [UA:  Note to fans, Mark had flash paper in his hands and somehow lit his buddy’s crotch on fire… Fear Mark]

UA:  So you’ve had the pleasure of meeting none other than Harley (Fan Club Member Of The Month 2/2011) at one of the shows.  Did he hit on you?  Have you washed your hands since?

Mark:  I wasn’t Harley’s type (I look nothing like Taz), so there was no need to panic.  We had given each other crap on the QR.com message boards in the past, so decided to meet up when I took my son, Alex, at the age of four, to the American Soldier tour in Myrtle Beach, SC.  Harley was great to hang out with, although if he stood in front of you during a show, you’d hate his tallness.  He actually looks like the financial-banker type that he claims as his profession, except he rocks pretty hard!!  You could definitely put his Queensryche concert rocker face next to the definition of “Oxymoron”.  He had never met the band, so I was happy to give him my extra Meet and Greet pass that night.  I still have not apologized to the band for doing so.  [UA:  I hate tall people who stand in front of me regardless of them being Harley]

UA:  What’s your current favorite Queensryche Album, Song, Tour, and Hairstyle?

Mark:  The masterpiece from Queensryche, and of all music for that matter, is “Rage For Order”.  Favorite songs are hard to choose as there are so many great ones depending on my mood.  I would have to say, just for its musical ingenuity at the time, “Neue Regel”.  There had been nothing ever recorded like it up to then, or since for that matter.  Best tour was also Rage For Order – they finally had enough material for a solid full-length concert, had that youthful exuberance put into their shows, and I was still able to see them at places small enough to really soak it all in.  And hairstyle?  C’mon, Rage For Order takes the cake again for sure.  Those were some cheesy, pretentious, over-the-top hairstyles on the back of that album.  Can you imagine anybody ever wanting to emulate the Geoff Tate style back then?   Um, not that I ever would have…..um……

UA:  In your work with the Telekinesis Company you get to do a lot of cool travel and wear a lot of interesting gypsy outfits.  What am I thinking right now?  (Hint:  It has nothing to do with the Packers losing their perfect season before even getting to the Super Bowl)

Mark:  Gypsy outfits…..um….where do I work?  What?  I will skip to question #2, what is Adam thinking right now…. besides devising a new plan to entice Brett Favre back to the Vikings to be the savior once again (think cellphone pics), Adam would likely be thinking about new ways to skewer the QueensrychenOObs he finds on the message boards (and in real life too, apparently, from what I hear).  I love watching him stalk and pounce on his unsuspecting prey….even though he’s harmless in the end.

UA:  Tell us a story about meeting the band.  Was it dreamy?  Did you swoon?  Describe the swooning….

Mark:  OK, my first encounter with a member of Queensryche was over the phone during the first month or two after the release of Rage For Order.  Michael Wilton was in the Capitol Records offices in Hollywood with Rob Gordon and Joyce Rooks (both EMI Marketing employees).  Joyce knew what a big fan I was and how much I promoted the band at Musicland (I used to manage music stores), so she called me while he was visiting.  She put him on the phone and I was like a little girl practically squealing as I fumbled over my words and admiration for the band.  Embarrassing, to say the least…. but most of us have had similar experiences with our first encounters, so I’ll wear it as a badge of… well…. embarrassment.  [UA:  Side note:  the first time I met Michael, I commented about how I was taller than him and offered to lift him over my head.  I might have had a drink that night.]

UA:  I was envious to learn that you allowed a horse to poop in your house and yet would not let me even get past the front door.  What kind of septic system do you have over there?

Mark:  It’s true that I used to own a miniature horse (Mimi) as a pet, but she died on Thanksgiving a few years ago.  She was truly a member of the family as she was housebroken (imagine having to build a 4′ x 6′ litter box for the porch) and loved to come in the house to watch TV with the family.  Having a miniature horse is like having a very large dog with the attitude of a three-year old child.  It was nice that she was trained to conveniently poop in one place as opposed to having to search all over the yard to find crap….no need to “scrape the shit off your shoes”.  Adam, as soon as you are certified as potty trained, you are also welcome in my house.

UA:  Let’s play “if Queensryche were mobile phone carriers”; which carrier would each one be, and who would have the lowest rates and best coverage?

Mark:  Jeez, where do you come up with these questions?!?!

• Geoff:  Rogers Telecom – They are a Canadian carrier with offices in Montreal.  I know Geoff wrote the story of Operation:Mindcrime there, and I think of that every time I go to the city, so I’ll stick with that.
• Scott:  Verizon – Fastest network and highest quality performance.  Could there be a better description of ScottRock’s playing?
• Whip:  France Telecom – If I remember correctly, Whip is a fan of the Grey Goose, distilled in France.  High quality (like his guitar playing), but mellow (dude)…..in the few times we’ve met, that’s where I’d peg him.
• Ed:  Sprint/Nextel – Not in the limelight a whole lot, but offers exceptional value.  Without Sprint/Nextel, the cellphone competitive landscape would be pretty bland, just like Queensryche’s music would be without the heart and soul of EdBass’ contributions.
• Parker: T-Mobile – Another great carrier (guitar playing) with great marketing (awesome tattoos), but you don’t know how long they’ll be around, although you hope it is for awhile (he has just the right amount of creativity while honoring the band’s past – like knowing how to play DeGarmo’s parts…)

UA:  Speaking of Hockey, I hate the Red Wings!  Is there a member of your family that you have not converted to a Queensryche fan yet?

Mark:  Nope, pretty much got everyone.  My sisters and I had a bet when we were teenagers.  They bet that I would like Duran Duran or Kajagoogoo before they would ever like Queensryche.  Ask them who won!  My wife, Elise, met Queensryche three times before she ever saw them in concert.  Now she’s seen them nine times – HA!  But my proudest accomplishment was converting my grandma with just a few listens of Operation:Mindcrime.  Of course she heard it several times in a row whenever I was around, so maybe I just wore her down……then again, it is a damn good album.

UA:  You have 3 Jacks, a 6 of hearts, and a 3 of diamonds.  Do you go all in knowing that I’m awesome at everything I do?

Mark:  Yes I do, because I was born in Vegas, and you should never challenge a man from Vegas in a game of Crazy Eights.   Oh, my wife says you were talking about poker….in that case, yes, I’m all in.  [UA:  You win, I’m now topless]

UA:  You bought one of Scott’s drum sets; does this make you a kick ass drummer or a guy who has a kick ass drum set?

Mark:  I used to be a pretty good drummer, but now I’m much more of the latter.  My kids play the kit more than I do, although I do want to settle back into them for about six months and be good enough to pull off a cover gig locally.  That way my kids can see that their dad isn’t a total loser….. or they will have something to laugh at for the rest of their lives.  Either way, it’s a win!  And thanks for the kit, Scott, it is well taken care of and awesome!!

UA:  So, I’m sure you’ve been in jail or have done something that would put you away for a while.  Give us your guilty plea.

Mark:  Well, I have not been to jail, although I have put a down payment on a really nice single-inmate cell with a flat-screen TV for when I kill the first boy who takes Tesla on a date – speak the word.  I have committed a federal crime…. unknowingly.  At the Queensryche show in Brussels, I had nothing for the boys to autograph during the Meet & Greet, so I had them autograph my passport.  They thought it was unique and some mentioned that nobody had ever asked them to do that before.  Later that night, as I was checking out their handiwork, I noticed that it is a federal crime to have unauthorized marks/signatures on a passport.  For the next two years I was in a total panic every time I had to go through customs that I would be whisked away to the gulag, never to return.  I also have a tattoo, Rage For Order design, thanks to MindClot.  So I’ve got that going for me when I’m incarcerated.

UA:  I made up a quote of you saying, “UncleAdam is better than me in every way”.   I enjoy making up quotes of you saying nice things about me.  What are some other nice things you can say about me here?

Mark:  Alright, I’m actually going to say something nice.  UncleAdam’s contributions to the message boards are something I look forward to as they always provide some levity to everyday life – that’s a gift that thankfully keeps on giving, even if you sometimes become the target of his playful attacks.

UA: If you could buy one band member and Uncle Adam lunch, which band member would it be and where would you take us?

Mark:  I would say Eddie Jackson.  I hear he really enjoys golf, so after we played 18 at Pinehurst #2, we would go to Ten-Ya Sushi followed by a night of drinking at Dugan’s Pub in Pinehurst Village.  Now that would be a great day, even with Adam there.

Event: Bottle Signing/Tasting w/ Geoff Tate
Date: Saturday, January 28th
Time: 12:00 – 2:00pm
Location: Hi Time Wine Cellars
Address: 250 Ogle St. Costa Mesa, CA 92627
Website: hitimewine.net

Date: Monday, January 31st
Time: 6:30 – 7:15pm
Location: Grass Valley Center for the Arts

Date: Tuesday, February 1st
Time: 4:00 – 6:00pm
Location: Leon Bistro, Chico
Website: leonbistro.com

Event: Wine Tasting & Bottle Signing
Date: Thursday, February 2nd
Time: 3:00 – 5:00pm
Locatation: 1313 Main
Address: 1313 Main Steet, Napa Valley, CA
There will be 2009 Three Rivers Insania Red and White featured to taste, as well as to purchase for bottle signing.
Website: 1313main.com