Let’s kick off 2012 with a deep dive into the psyche of the one and only KooWull! Many of you know KooWull as one of the hot brunettes on .com, but as I learned in this interview she’s more than that! She enjoys killing orcs, yelling at strangers out of car windows, UncleAdam, reading, and thumb tacks. Her dislikes are mind readers who use blinkers, trolls (I’m assuming Bingo parlor here), and James Bond movies featuring George Lazenby as 007. I’ll let her tell you more about that in this interview.
UA: So you’ve been busy this past year doing things like getting married, moving, being awesome, and creating crafts out of discarded mannequins. Why don’t we start with this marriage thing? How are you digging it and can he beat me at arm wrestling?
KooWull: I actually moved four years ago, that’s old news. However, I really do dig the married thing. I found a great guy and consider myself very lucky. Everyone should try the marriage thing once, it’s like a roller coaster, scary and fun all at the same time and once in a while your breath is taken away. I’m not quite sure if he can beat you at arm wrestling, though – you are pretty built. [UA: Four years! Being a Time Lord has its disadvantages some days.]
UA: You first saw Queensryche back in 1986; did you know that Voyager 2 made its first contact with Uranus that year? How was the show and how has it changed in the past 30 years?
KooWull: I do not recall (remember Reagan?) any voyages to Uranus. I am pretty sure I would have remembered that. But I do remember the first Ryche show. They opened for AC/DC at the Thomas and Mack in Vegas. I was really looking forward to it but was sadly disappointed, whoever did the sound check should have been fired, they sounded awful. However, they made up for it a hundred times over when they returned in ’91 for the Empire tour. WOW!! I haven’t missed a tour yet.
UA: What has been your favorite QR tour/show so far and why?
KooWull: My favorite tour would be the Mindcrime II Tour. I had seen more shows and met more Ryche fans than any other tour before. After one of the Seattle shows I lost my driver’s license while wandering the streets of the Emerald City. Fortunately, I was able to get on the plane back to Vegas with my Sam’s Club card; the TSA approved it as a valid photo ID (true story). [UA: Was I at this show? I don’t think so, but I do collect wallets.]
UA: I recently visited Las Vegas in the hopes of finally meeting you, only to learn that you have moved away from the City of Sin. What possessed you to move away before I got there?
KooWull: I was in Vegas for 25 years… what took you so long to visit? I saw some of the pictures from your Vegas tour and it looks like you had a great time without me. I miss Vegas, but life sometimes leads you into surprisingly new directions. My boyfriend at the time (now my husband), had been in the Air Force for twenty years and retired while he was stationed at Nellis AFB (he’s my American Soldier). He was offered an excellent position as a civilian at Scott AFB, near St. Louis. So now, I am in the Midwest… there are no palm trees and sunshine, only corn stalks and rain/sleet/snow/tornados. [UA: It’s common knowledge that people who live in the Midwest are smarter and more attractive; I can see why you moved.]
UA: Having been a lurker on the QR.com message boards for many, many years, do you find the grammar has improved or un-improved over the course of the years? What about the making up of new words?
KooWull: Grammar? New words? I thought the board was all about boobs and UA. Or… UA looking for boobs in photographs, text or by following links to external websites.
UA: Having never met me in person, what super hero do you think should play me in the UncleAdam Movie? (tights optional)
KooWull: Red Mist from Kick Ass would be a perfect UA. He wears black leather pants instead of tights, which is HOT! He also completely kicks ass and wears black and red which are my favorite colors. And he wears a cape, ‘nuff said. [UA: It’s ok ladies (and Harley) if you need to take a break to picture me in tight leather pants…. Enjoy!]
UA: I understand you got married in Hawaii. I have no real question here but wanted to provide an example and warning to everyone that my powers of Internet Stalking are not to be trifled with. (There is also a “getting lei’d” joke in here, but I’m above that)
KooWull: ROFL, you are such a stalker which is sexy and creepy all at the same time. Hawaii was beautiful and fun. Not only did I marry the nerd of my dreams, but I hiked up and into an old volcano, toured Pearl Harbor, went to a luau and got lei’d in the airport and on the beach.
UA: What’s your current favorite Queensryche Album and Song? Are you picturing me singing it in the shower for you? I bet you are now….
KooWull: My favorite album has always been Rage for Order. It is dark and menacing, great music and composition. My favorite song is Suite Sister Mary (Operation: Mindcrime). After seeing that song performed live I was hooked for life. When the song was over, the whole arena was quiet and in complete awe. But now that I have mentally pictured Adam singing it in the shower, it might be even better than before. [UA: I will never understand how you people consider “Gonna Get Close To You” dark and menacing…]
UA: Eating bugs and other things for money is a time-honored tradition. What is the most unusual thing you have ever eaten?
KooWull: Although it never earned a cent, I have eaten cow tongue and tripe, but not at the same time. I was a child and was tricked into eating that crap both times. My family is horrible. One was offered as beef soup and the other was in Menudo and I didn’t know what it was in it. Surprisingly, the cow tongue was pretty good, but I cannot see myself eating it again. The thought of my food tasting me back is kinda creepy. [UA: Now that you live in the Midwest, we can hit up the big Lutefisk dinners together!]
UA: I don’t actually play WoW, but I’m fond of yelling “I got a mount! I got a mount!” What does this mean to you and what do you mount?
KooWull: WoW, that is a fully loaded question. The Google definition of mounting is “The action of mounting something.” To me, mounting in the WoW world is a means to get from point A to point B. I do not collect mounts, but I know others who do. My Priest rides a Magnificent Flying Carpet. My Death Knight has a Swift BrewFest Ram and a Winged Steed of the Ebon Blade. I call the Winged Steed my Boner Mount since it is a skeleton bird. [UA: Just wanted to point out she said “Boner” here on her own without my prompting…. Also, other than the word Boner, I have no idea what she’s talking about.]
UA: Do you have any PG stories you can share from your travels with Rychadelic?
KooWull: During the Mindcrime II tour my Toxic Twin (Rychadelic) was complaining that her liver hurt after following the band for a week. I thought she was joking and laughed it up, but she wasn’t joking. It took a week to recover from a week of vacation. We survived off of alcohol, Ibuprofen, Rock Star energy drinks, water and bread. Good times! [UA: And in Question #3 above, KooWull has identified this as her favorite tour…. Must have been some awesome bread!]
UA: I like to play the game where you compare the band with other things or people. Let’s play if Queensryche were Characters played by William Shatner, who would they be and why?
I have only ever seen him in Star Trek, TJ Hooker, Miss Congeniality and the Priceline commercials. I really like the band members, they are such great guys, and William Shatner is a bit of a joke. So there is only one character that comes to mind…
Geoff Tate: Captain Kirk – the fearless leader who breaks all of the rules
UA: Since KooWull wussed out here, I’ll fill in the rest for you…
Scott: Denny Crane in Boston Legal – Pure Awesome
Ed: Ed from Sh*t My Dad Says – I’ve never seen the show, but anyone who teaches UA the phrase “Grocery Snake” clearly would be on this.
Michael: William Shatner in the Roast of William Shatner – funny, crude, and kick ass all at once.
Parker: Bob Wilson from that episode of Twilight Zone where he freaks out on an airplane. – Not because Parker freaks out on airplanes, but because he has similar hair.
Scurlock: TJ Hooker – Look at all the innuendo this implies!
UA: See KooWull that wasn’t that hard!
KooWull: So UA, Now that I am in St. Louis, when are you going to visit me?
UA: Well I had this huge plan to go visit Branson but then MathesK decided to go be with her own age group and I don’t think that Huey Lewis and the News has a pavilion there yet. So I suppose I’ll get to St. Louis sometime in the next decade, but when I do I’ll make sure I look you up and arm wrestle this ‘husband’ of yours.
UA: Did you cry when Han Solo was frozen into carbonite?
KooWull: Han Solo was frozen into carbonite? That does not sound like a good place to find oneself. [UA: I fear that Red Solo Cup song has rotted the brains of the youth in this country…]
UA: If you could buy one band member and Uncle Adam lunch, which band member would it be and where would you take us?
KooWull: Chris DeGarmo. I know that he is no longer with the band, but he wrote most of my favorite songs. We would go to my favorite little Italian restaurant in Vegas… Ventano’s. It is away from the Strip, has a great view of the city and the best spiedini [UA: I shall order the beef tongue!]