For November we get to finally talk to someone who has been at the top of my “people I really want to meet but not in a creepy kind of way” list for a long time. Rage is best known for being one of the voices of reason on the Queensryche.com message boards. She wears sexy librarian glasses and has never changed her avatar. I’m giddy with excitement to bring you this month’s interview with RAGE.
UA: First off, thank you for agreeing to put up with me during this Interview! You and your husband LONDON (David) have had an awesome impact on the QR.com community. Can you tell us a few stories about you and LONDON?
Rage: LONDON and I met on one of the very early versions of the QR.com message board and the first time we met in person was to attend a show together in Denver. LONDON was a great person with an amazing sense of humor. He loved playing into the East Coast Italian stereotype. Every person who knew LONDON has a story about him. He was everyone’s best friend and we are all acutely aware of his absence on .com. QR.com is not the same without his humor and wit. I miss him.
UA: What song/tour/album first got you into Queensryche? Please describe (in depth) your feelings at that exact moment.
Rage: My friend bought me Operation: Mindcrime for my birthday in 1988, and I was blown away. This was when I measured a band by looks rather than musicianship, so it was a real awakening for me. It changed the way I listen to music forever. [UA: I still measure bands based on looks… my collection of Gwar is unparalleled]
UA: How many times have you seen Queensryche live? What was your favorite show or tour?
Rage: I honestly don’t know and I’m too lazy to try and count. I’m not really the type of fan that saves ticket stubs and such. If I have to guess, I’d say I’ve seen them around 15 times, which isn’t much compared to some. My favorite show, I think, was S2K1. It was a great set list; great energy and I got to meet so many great fan club members that night.
UA: I think we can both agree that “Community” is the best, most awesome show on television. I mean who doesn’t love Annie’s Boobs? What other TV shows and Movies can you recommend to those of us socially awkward extroverts who don’t watch enough television?
Rage: Joel McHale is my TV boyfriend! Community is indeed the funniest and most awesome show on television. I love both Annie’s Boobs and Annie’s boobs. The next best show on television after Community is Parks & Recreation (Ron Swanson; enough said). But the show you all should have been watching 5 years ago was Arrested Development. Best. Show. Ever. [UA: I agree on Arrested Development and will throw in "Sports Night", "Battlestar Galactica" and "Yo Gabba Gabba".]
UA: Because I’m disorganized and not very bright, I totally forgot that you dig Halloween “to the extreme!!” Tell us about your 2011 Halloween Extravaganza! (Note: I refrained from saying “Post your treats!”)
Rage: It’s true. I’m a Halloween nerd. I love to decorate, and every year I turn my front yard into a cemetery. I’ve always loved dark and creepy things, but I didn’t really start seriously decorating until about 12 years ago. My dad and I built a creepy butler I named Boris and it grew from there. I don’t have kids, and yet I do things like this to attract them to my house. A bit “Hansel & Gretel,” but I love it. And if you must, you can see my “treats” here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/69234722@N06/
UA: If Geoff Tate were to get into a thumb wrestling contest with Admiral Akbar how many traps would be involved?
Rage: I’m more of an ALIENS fan, so please rephrase the question.
UA: Fine… If Ash and Eddie were to get into a knife wielding contest, can you really watch Alien(s) anymore without thinking about the alien at the end of Spaceballs dancing on the countertop?
Rage: Bishop was the synthetic with the knife skills, not Ash. But I do wish at least one alien would sing “Hello! Ma Baby” in the style of Michigan J. Frog.
UA: I hear rumors that you can out-curse a sailor and would use words that would make even me blush (in naughty ways). Can you tell us what your favorite non-profanity laced things are to yell at Queensryche Concerts?
Rage: “FREEBIRD!” Everything I yell is profanity laced. [UA: Skynard has never been hotter]
UA: In doing my Rage Research (stalking) I looked up a lot of geology jokes. I basically learned that geology jokes are not funny (Geologists enjoy Nappes between thrusts!). How do you manage to hang out with these people and still remain funny? (It’s nodody’s fault!)
Rage: Adam, I am so disappointed that you didn’t go for the very obvious geology-related cleavage joke! But, you are right. Geology jokes are not really funny. We really like stupid puns and the *wink, wink* double entendre. I’ll admit to having made my fair share of jokes about orogeny, overturned beds, thrust, reverse thrusts, superpositions, etc. How do I remain funny? Alcohol helps.
UA: Because I’m now fascinated with Geology, please describe the members of Queensryche in terms of Rocks. (Rock Stars is not punny and does not count):
- Geoff: Since I see Geoff as the most dynamic member of the group, I’d have to describe him as a piece of schist*. Time and pressure have changed him into something different than what he was in the beginning. But, who says change is bad? *could be any metamorphic rock, really. Schist is just fun to say. [UA: Piece of Schist… that’s funny]
- Scott: Gneiss. I told you geologists like stupid puns.
- Whip: Obsidian. Dark with a sharp edge.
- Ed: Granite. A good, strong basement rock. I’ve always thought that bass players give bands a strong foundation and texture on which to build a great song.
- Parker: Intrusive dike. I *had* to use this insult on someone, so it might as well be the new guy, right? Consider yourself hazed, kid. In all seriousness, I have not yet met Parker, but I’ve heard nothing but good things from those who have.
- Scurlock: Morrisonite. Rare and hard to find. [UA: I would have gone with Stalagmite here but I’m not a professional]
UA: Like me, you are saddled with the burden of being awesome. How have you come to terms with your awesomeness and do you have any tips for those commoners who strive to be more like us?
Rage: Everyone should follow Rage’s 3 steps to being awesome.
- Do awesome stuff
- Say awesome things
- Surround yourself with awesome people
UA: You claim to not have a third nipple. What is your favorite Queensryche song to listen to in the following situations?
- Driving to work: Roads to Madness
- Farting in the bathtub: Breaking the Silence- By the way this has *never* happened.
- Eating Brussels sprouts: The Mission – My favorite vegetable and my favorite QR song.
- Playing Banjo: Murderer? Banjo music makes me murderous.
- Driving home from work: The rest of Roads to Madness. I have a very short commute.
- Being Awesome: I am I
UA: Can lapidary arts include kidney stones?
Rage: If you can pass one large enough, I can cut it.
UA: November is also known as “Movember” where people are encouraged to grow mustaches for prostate cancer awareness. If you were to grow a rockin’ stache’ what would it look like and would it put FATE’s facial hair to shame?
Rage: If I were to grow a “rockin’ ‘stache” the first thing I would do is call a doctor because there is obviously something wonky with my hormones. But, I’d like to think I’d look all sorts of cool with a “Swanson” (see Parks & Recreation) which, of course, would be way more awesome than anything Fate could manage.
UA: If you could add one song to the set list of the next QR show that you go to, what song would it be and why?
Rage: “Freebird!” I keep asking…
I would love to hear “I Will Remember” live. That song gives me chills every time I hear it.
UA: Have I mentioned how awesome you are yet? If not, people need to know how awesome you are. Do you have any charities you would like to promote here that others should be aware of?
Rage: I’d like to think part of my awesomeness is being a kind and giving person, so I try to help where I can. I feel really strongly about supporting causes that are important to me and those I’m close to. I support the Polycystic Kidney Disease Foundation in honor of my nephews; one who died from PKD, and one who lives with it. The Cal Ripken Foundation, The Epilepsy Foundation, and because I lost 2 toenails walking the relay this summer and because cancer sucks, I support the Relay for Life. Oh, and since I’m dangerously close to becoming the crazy cat lady on my block, I encourage everyone to give to their local dog and cat shelter. Rescues are awesome. [UA: Two toenails for ending cancer!]
UA: 20 years ago you were featured in the Metal Edge’s “Metalheads Directory” Please tell us graphically how you obtained this high honor and what it means 20 years later?
Rage: It wasn’t really an honor, just a way for fans to connect in the days before the Internet (and being stalked by creepy Asian dudes on message boards). I just sent in my name, address and list of my favorite bands and soon I was lousy with letters from people all over the world. This is how I met my very best friend. We have stayed in contact over the past 21 years and just spent an awesome week together in September in Yellowstone. In retrospect, it now seems very creepy. Hey perverts, here’s where I live! [UA: Have I asked everyone to join my “UncleAdam Directory” yet?]
UA: If you could buy one band member and Uncle Adam lunch, which band member would it be, and where would you take us?
Rage: Rather than a band member, I’d take fellow fan club member, Harley, to lunch with us. I’d probably choose a local bar and grill here in my hometown that serves Rocky Mountain Oysters. Something about Hayseed tells me he’d enjoy having testicles in his mouth. [UA: I’m bringing my camera for this.]